Adoption: Some Honest Reflections
By Matt Garimentis

We have been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 years of marriage. Actually, we got pregnant about 9 months ago, but my wife miscarried. At least we know that we're not infertile. Now we are just trying and praying to God. Along the way, we've considered adoption. As we've considered adopting a child, I've been stopped up by 3 primary concerns: Money, Love, and Process. In the article below I'll go into these in more measure. Please keep in mind that these are only my first thoughts on adoption as a prospective parent. I've not yet conducted thorough research.

Our money is tight. We are continuing to get ourselves out of debt due to some very negative spending problems during the first year of our marriage. I was wanting to wait to have children, but my wife gently reminded me that having a child while tight financially is of more value than not having a child but being more free with cash. Children beat out money. We're willing to make the sacrifice. While this mindset is all well and good for bearing your own children, I'm guessing that an adoption agency has stricter financial requirements for who they accept. Not to mention the fees. At this point, I don't think we can afford adoption.

When the topic of adoption first came up, I didn't give it much consideration. My mind has always been firm on having my own children from my own seed. I've always thought part of the love I'd experience for my child would be the wonderful thought that he is from me. (Yes, I'm planning for a boy.) As I've contemplated it more, however, I sincerely trust I will love an adopted child just the same as my own. Love is more a committment of the heart than a mystical feeling of oneness. Plus the knowledge that I "rescued" this child would give great feelings in the process. Maybe I'd dare to think of myself as a hero!

The final issue I've considered while contemplating adoption is a fear of the long process. I regularly read negative stories of the time and money required to adopt a child. A friend of mine even experienced an ordeal where there surfaced a risk the birth mother had the option to take the child back six or so months later. I'd want to be sure of the outcome before starting the process. I also read of occasions of adoptive parents traveling to foreign countries to pick up a child with only the expense being a airline ticket. Could it be so simple?

As you've most likely realized, I haven't researched adoption adequately yet to understand the facts about these money, love, and process issues. I do know I will love whatever child with whom God chooses to bless us. This article is just the beginning step in my journey to come to grips with the issues. I have even programmed a website at which I plan to receive the written experiences of others contemplating adoption or adoptive parents. You are invited to send an article too. You don't have to be an expert -- I'm not! You don't need to be an accomplished writer. Your knowledge and experience on the topic matters much more.

Matt Garimentis makes it easy to learn about adoption from others at adoption. Publishers, get a unique version of this article at free web content.

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