Adoption: Surviving the Wait for Your Baby
By Cynthia Smith

I have been pregnant for 18 months—well, paper pregnant that is. For those of us adopting, you know what I mean. While completing the paperwork that makes this beautiful process possible was at times frustrating, at least running back and forth to the notary public kept me busy and provided a feeling that I was still somewhat in control. But once all the paperwork was successfully navigated and back into the agency’s hands—I stepped back, took a deep breath and realized all that was left to do is wait. Now you’d think that would be the easy part, but for myself and many other adoptive parents, the waiting and uncertainty of when you will meet your child for the first time can border on unbearable.

To help you get through your wait a little easier, here are ten things you can do.

1. Focus on what you already have.
   To be in the position to adopt, I bet you already have many things for which to be thankful. When I start feeling discouraged, I count my blessings and remember that the wait will eventually come to an end and once we have our daughter she will be part of our family forever.

2. Create a memory book.
   Write down your thoughts and feelings, write letters to your child, about current events from your home country or if you are adopting internationally, from your child’s birth country. Include drawings from other siblings. Your child would be very interested to see the book you created for them one day. There is even on demand publishing available so you can actually have your work bound and turned into a professional looking book.

3. Volunteer to work with children.
   You’ll feel good about it and it will give you the opportunity to get some experience if you are a first time parent.

4. Save money.
   Adopting costs money and so does raising a child. Extra money will always come in useful. It’s never too early to start saving for college!

5. Clean house.
   Take time to really clean and get organized. Once your baby is here, you’ll have better things to do. Getting organized now will allow you to spend more time with your child later.

6. Take parenting classes.
   Local hospitals often sponsor parenting classes or consider an adoption preparation workshop to help you learn what to expect and how to handle any special needs your child may have or develop. Learning infant CPR is also a good idea. You can find a local class by contacting the American Red Cross.

7. Take one last vacation as a couple.
   All right—so my husband and I have taken three “last vacations” as a childless couple--but we had a great time on each of them. If you are waiting for your first baby, spend time as a couple enjoying one another’s company completely free of any parenting responsibilities. If you have other children at home, it may be nice to all get away and spend quality time as a family since traveling might become more difficult with a new baby in the home.

8. Learn about your child’s culture.
   If you are adopting internationally or a child from a culture different than your own, you may want to consider learning about their country’s history and traditions. You can plan fun ways to incorporate their native country's traditions into your own. Learning a bit of your child’s native country’s language might also be useful, especially if you will be traveling there.

9. Plan and decorate the nursery.
   Some future parents don’t want to walk by a decorated nursery until they are close to Adoption Day. If you would prefer to hold off on decorating, consider gathering ideas from magazines so when the time is right, you can proceed knowing exactly what you want.

10. Start childproofing your home.
    Children will get into everything so walk through every room and identify all potential hazards. Sit on the floor as well to see the room from a child’s vantage point and look for any dangers you may have missed. Read up on the latest safety products you may not be familiar with.

Cynthia Smith owns and operates Mother Earth Nursery Designs, an online boutique specializing in organic and healthy products for babies and their nursery. She is working to promote awareness of organic fabrics and their benefits for babies and the environment.

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